Tinder boyz


They will tell you their height but not their woes,
They’ll inform you they’re bearded like you didn’t already know
They’ll relay you their job title if they think you’ll be impressed
All these tinder boys are just after pics of your breasts

They want full length photos and they are all, ‘have you got snapchat?’
They’ll harp on about how much they hate cats
The obligatory ski photo to show that they’re outdoorsy
But can’t hold a conversation, it fucking bores me

So, you like to travel but are too lazy to explore my mind?
They won’t ask anything meaningful
Claim that they’ve got no idea of what they want to find

If I had a pound for all the dick pics in my phone
Jack, Kyle, some lad, ummm unknown
I could afford a trombone

A couple brief exchanges and an absent reply
Leaving you checking your notifications like, ‘wow, did they die?’
I’m bored of the game and I’m bored of the choice
I’m bored of the swiping and typing
and the abscence of voice

Having all that choice is pointless if you can’t make a decision
Dating apps are a catalyst for social circumcision
The ability to rapidly connect is causing a disconnect
So let’s reflect
On the defects
Of society
Come up to me in a bar
And get to know