Drunken anecdotes

One goodbye and a thousand words left to say
Knowing what it effect it would have on me today,
maybe I wouldn’t have said what I did that day
In that way
But we humans are a sucker for forgetting the bad times and only remembering the good we could hold in our hands
And I suppose I thought that you would not understand
That I just needed some time to be alone
But I wanted to be alone with you?
And it’s silly now because you’ve moved on like people do
But I can’t help but wonder if you were just after someone new
To forget about me
And I can only feel empathy for what may have been and what might still be
Somewhere in the back of the back of brain
Driving you insane
When you realise that she isn’t me

I cycled all the way home
Drunk on fear and drunk on you
And we didn’t speak once
Not even to exchange pleasantries or even for you to take my order
I saw you in the reflection of the door and I wanted to see more of you but I should not impose myself on your new life and your new beginnings but the past is so unforgiving and you are just the same
My boy
My boy in the place where time once held us
together as one
But now
You are gone.

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