you are the reason I can’t sleep at night


He said I don’t like it when you look at me that way

With those eyes, do you really have nothing to say?

You fucked off and left me standing here to pick up the pieces,

And now you stand there and look at me with that smirk that you know teases?

I never wanted any of this, I never wanted you, 

But you traced yourself into my life and now you stand here LIKE you do

Gazing down on me as though you never even knew my name, leaving me thinking that after all this IM the one to blame

I didn’t believe in love and I never believed in happy endings,

I got through all my relationships with fake smiles but I knew I was pretending,

you caught my eye and yeah I thought you were beautiful,

but I meet pretty girls everyday what made you so special,

an intellectual, always seen with a pen and paper

I thought yeah she’s alright and I might try and date her

but that was all you know, a passing thought before I slept

and now I’m lying here with all those memories I’ll never forget 

your smell is in the pillow with that shit shampoo you hate

but you always bought it anyway because it was cheap and I always thought that was great 

your clothes are still in my wardrobe taking up all the space

and I would move them but then I imagine you pulling that face 

you know,

the one you do when i move any of your things and you sit there looking concerned while you fiddle with all your rings, 

and you had too many rings anyway it was always hard to hold your hand  and you’d joke that you’d take them off when I bought you a wedding band 

and one night I did think that maybe I would propose one day, and then I laughed it off coz I always said no way,

why would anyone want to be tied down for the rest of their life

Calling a woman they can barely stand their dearly beloved wife?

you pissed me off and yeah we had our issues but then you’d call me up and be like babe you know I miss you

and if it was anyone, it would be you that I’d put up with forever, 

it’d be you I would set up home with,

i suppose

it was always you.

I am

I’m looking at her, and she’s staring straight back at me

Vacant eyed and expressionless

I motion my hand before her face

She doesn’t flinch

She doesn’t move, not one inch

What does she want and why is she here?

Why when I close my eyes does she not disappear?

I touch her and she accepts

I wrap my palm around her cheek and give it a sharp smack

She raises her arm and does it back

I stumble, bewildered

I move a strand of hair from by her eye

She blinks back absently

Again

She raises her arm and gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear

She opens her mouth

Here comes the fear
I am

Omnipotent

Omnipresent

Omniscient

I am